Vacation with a dog
The headline itself is probably wrong. It should rather be called “My vacation with humans.” This reminds us of a sketch by a comedian who said: Imagine you arrive on Earth as an alien and the first thing you see is a human with a dog, two completely different beings. Then you see that one of the beings “poops” on the ground and the other creature carries the “poop” away in a bag. Which of the two individuals would you identify as the boss?
We, and anyone who has ever had a dog, know that life is actually very much centered around the animal, which is a very good thing. That's why we'd like to offer a brief description from the dog's perspective.
Nero talks about his vacation with humans
So, I'm Nero. I owe it to my beautiful physique that I wasn't neutered. Judging by his behavior, my owner isn't neutered either, because he keeps marking his territory on our walks. How he managed to do that with his appearance is a mystery to me; I wouldn't give him an “A” with that physique and gait.
I come here on vacation twice a year. We prefer to stay in the Abendrot apartment because we can lie under the vine arbor and enjoy the afternoons or evenings, or even breakfast. I love it because I have my own green space with fresh water right in front of the apartment. And when I say my space, I mean it. When I'm there, it belongs to me, from the lawn to the parking lot. I don't want to sound like I'm bragging, but I've passed all my hunting tests and you can tell that the owner of the house treats me preferentially. He greets me, scratches me behind the ears, and I often get a cow's ear. He never does that with my owner. Although, I have seen him scratch my mistress, but that falls under my hunting confidentiality and was certainly not relevant, because she didn't get an ear.
Our daily walk is always a little adventure for me. The neighbor's cute little dog, Biene, has a slight Asian influence and is always very sweet to me. Then we walk about 100 meters on a farm road through the orchard. When I relieve myself here, my owner has to follow behind with the bag. I only ever do this with him, because he needs to stay fit. When I'm out with my mistress, I only do my business in the forest, where it doesn't bother anyone and, after all, I am a gentleman. Then, depending on my mood, I run through the woods and meadows for as long as I feel like it. We often meet Julia, a really gorgeous Labrador lady, but she doesn't seem to be very interested in a whole male dog. She might be spayed, or maybe she's just on the other side, which is so trendy these days.
My neighbor's hunting buddies often “vacation” there, acting like they're the greatest thing since sliced bread. But one of them failed his test because he ran away from a fox, the wimp. It's a shame that the landlord's old Artus is no longer alive. He was a guy of the old school, uncompromising. He would have given those wimps a good beating. When he smelled the girls, he was simply gone. No one dares to do that anymore.
The trips we always take are amazing. Almost everywhere you go, there is excellent water and a magnificent view. I'm always a little cautious around cows; they make me uneasy, those stinking beasts. In the evening, when we lie under the arbor, the landlord sometimes comes with a bottle that looks like water, but isn't. When it's half empty, I do my rounds of the neighborhood, and by the time my master has covered up my absence, I'm back again. So, buddies, I can only recommend this vacation, but not when I'm there, okay? And leave my girls alone.
